I, like every other college basketball fan, am still kind of in shock that John Calipari has gone to Arkansas. Just to get this out of the way – I am a blue-blood hater. Maybe it’s because they won’t invite UConn into their club, or they have this invasively smug attitude. Blue-bloods are just some of the most annoying colleges. And, as long as I can remember, John Calipari has been part of the blue bloods club.
Mentally, this man will always be a blue-blood coach. Sure, he spent time a Memphis, a school I secretly love. But, in my mind, he is THE Kentucky coach. Since I was 13 years old, this man has been collecting a roster of 18-year-olds perfectly positioned to enter the NBA draft. Year after year, this man was creating rosters stacked with future NBA first-round picks, and hush money recipients. As much as he now bleeds red, John Calipari will forever be the definition of a blue-blood coach. And like older blue-blood coaches, he could not survive the new era. Like Nick Saban had to retire, he had to run away. And probably for good reason, because I’m sure Rand Paul would have beaten him with a hammer.
So, when the news broke he was contemplating going to Arkansas, I genuinely didn’t believe it. I believe I texted my brother something along the lines of “I genuinely don’t believe it.” Because why would a man with a lifetime contract go somewhere like Arkansas? The team was leaving. The program was in disarray. And, realistically, Arkansas? I don’t think of college basketball when I think of that program. Turns out, a chicken nugget empire can do extraordinary things.
With a seismic shift in SEC-coaching alignment (not to be confused with the New Jersey seismic shift; hope the cake boss is okay), I watched the Calipari introductory press conference. I never watch press conferences. Press conferences are like AP news stories. No, AP stories are just press conferences reiterated through print. And, to be honest, I was kind of annoyed. Because Calipari, a man who will enter a deep circle of Hell, had a pretty honest and surprising press conference.
I’m not going to make you watch the full press conference, but here is the full thing.
I’m not going to spend time going through the entire press conference. That would be boring. I will also leave that Calipari interpretation to Kentucky Sports Radio. But, watching the press conference, it was weirdly honest the entire time. Saying some things that Salesman John would never say at Kentucky. There is a reason he was able to rope so many top prospects into the UK grasp. And, call me crazy, but this felt like a change.
First, a shoutout to Kelvin Sampson. And I forgot Hunter Yurchek went to Arkansas and is responsible for a lot of good at UH; Chris Pezman got lucky in my humble opinion.
This is probably the most honest segment of the entire press conference. I know I entitled this about him being surprisingly honest, but like it’s John Calipari. There are going to be times when he lies. But here he says “administrations win championships,” which is insanely true. The second part is “and donors,” but I don’t think he’d love to admit that the Craft family helped him gain this level of prestige. Coaches have a tendency to rely fully on themselves and players and not allow the thought that the administration plays a huge role. It does. You can’t be the Chiefs getting bad player grades and winning championships from a college perspective.
Calipari also displayed some subtle moments of self-awareness. He said two things that caught my attention. First, he said. “people look at me differently than I look at myself.” And then he said, “Whatever John Tyson would ask me to do, I’m doing it.” First, John, good on you for recognizing how you’ve bought into your own mythos. The Kentucky-ization of your mental state is astounding. Second, I’m glad you recognize that your new sugar daddy, John Tyson, is just that. He later backtracks, but it’s nice to know he had a Freudian slip.
Now, here is the part that kind of got this blog rolling. The whole, “I met with the team; there is no team” statement. I know this is an obvious statement, but a lot of coaches would skip past this. Or just leave it at “I met with the team.” I’m kind of glad Calipari came out and was honest about his current situation. Now, Calipari is a master recruiter (for better or worse) and can rely on his own myth. And he can rely on the number of players he has in the league. With all that said, it’s not like this is starting from square one. He has a whole roster of commits who probably committed to Kentucky to play for him.
So he’s not being fully truthful, because while there isn’t a team on the page there definitely is a team. The team just hasn’t been able to commit yet. But there will be a team. Just like the USC team next year will be full of Arkansas players, the Arkansas team will be full of Kentucky players; packed with the one-and-done mentality that screwed him in the first place.
John Calipari is haunted by Jack Gohlke. The first awarded cold ass white boy of this March infects this man’s every waking moment. Gohlke is the reason that Calipari had to leave his prestigious blue blood and transfer to a lesser SEC school (among other reasons).
I am not surprised he called out NIL, but I think there’s a bit of honesty there. Like my grandfather cannot stand the idea of players getting paid (it’s their education damn it, as the player brings in millions in donations so an AD can have a nicer office), neither can an oldhead like John. His assessment is correct that the reason players are staying longer is because of NIL. But also, the transfer portal has allowed more midmajors to get players who would otherwise be middling away on Kentucky’s bench. It’s the same reason Saban saw the writing on the wall. I appreciate the honesty, though.
Hey, remember after Kentucky lost to Oakland that John Calipari immediately threw the team under the bus for the loss? Turns out we all heard him wrong because he never would. And John Calipari would never lie to the press to make his story seem grander.
You see, never.
Remember how I said he was going to backtrack on the John Tyson thing? Well, he did here, because he does this whole “I’m not going to do everything he says” and “why would he even call me?” It’s the chicken empire, John. John Tyson wanted to raid Kentucky as ICE raided him in Mississippi. He saw Eric Musselman pull a Lincoln Riley and decided to get the showstopper. It’s just that the show
He also does this whole faith song and dance. This is like when Kim Mulkey pulls out her faith. They would both strangle a 19-year-old freshman if that meant a modicum more of success. I hate when coaches do the whole Joe Paterno “I’m here to make kids better schtick.” It feels dishonest because they’re majoring in sports management and haven’t shown up for class since high school.
I know I called this an honest press conference, but it’s John Calipari. A little bit of honesty is incredibly surprising and I’m more than pleased to see he has a modicum of self-awareness. Do I think he’ll succeed at Arkansas? Not really, because I think he’s trapped in a different era of basketball. The Coach K’s of the world are slowly teetering, and Calipari is holding on to the last threads of his legacy. But, who knows, maybe he’ll take his shirt off.
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