A Requiem for a Dana Holgorsen

I wanted Dana Holgorsen to succeed. Badly. My time at UH had coincided with the revival of UH football under Tom Herman (before the true reinvigoration of UH’s real sport – basketball). Major Applewhite had been a weird direction for the program to go, just like how Major’s dating life goes in weird directions. But when UH announced Holgorsen as the next coach, I was genuinely excited. An offensive guru with a drinking problem? That’s a deadly combination ready to recreate Run and Shoot heyday.

But just like the Matt Rhule NFL experiment that ended, it’s time for the UH-Dana experiment to come to an end. And it would have come to an end Thursday, if the Cougars had not won despite the terrible coaching of Dana:

It’s time we had a real conversation that the end should be here. This won’t be a good, comprehensive overview of the case against Dana Holgorsen. Even though the entire pink slip seems relatively obvious, these are just the things I’ve noticed that as time has progressed has become especially heinous. Also, I’m vaguely factoring in the West Virginia game, but this blog has been coming for at least a year, if not more.

The Offense

Before I start this section, I think the easy out here is to blame the OC, or blame the scheming, or say the players need to be making the plays. As you’ll see in a second, Dana either needs to step up or find a new OC. Also, UH clearly has defensive problems, but I have a harder time really going after Dana for that one. That’s almost more of a recruiting issue (look at the size of our guys compared to the TEs and WRs they can’t tackle).

I went to the UH v. Tulane football game last year. I already was done with Dana Holgorsen before I showed up at TDECU. But by the end of the game, I had become an expert in guessing Dana’s play calling, and a huge fan of Duece Watts (not only because he has an all-time name). Watching the game was hard. I knew what Dana was going to call, it was the same thing over and over and over.

Here were the three plays he’d call: a HB draw, a screen pass, and then a pass out of the shotgun, where Clayton Tune would scramble for his life. (Side note: That game was shortly after a Tua concussion, and Tune would dive headfirst, instead of the easy slide. As someone who loves Tua, it was hard to watch). It was generally just boring to watch. And the entire time UH has been here there has been a want to run the ball for some reason. For a guy from the Mike Leach coaching tree, he’s spent his time acting more like Mike Pence with the play calling Dana’s out here running.

I also went to the UH v. UTSA game in the Alamodome last season. Just a quick thought, that is an extremely underwhelming stadium; I expected so much more from the Dimmadome of the south. And the person I was sitting next too said the only thing that made sense that day. The worst indictment of Dana’s play calling is not how bad it is, or how he just lacks any defensive situational awareness.

No, the worst thing about his play calling is how boring it is. Dana’s play calling comes across as a defeated man who has no passion to win. A man who wants to take the safest option possible so that the other team doesn’t score a killshot; a Dillon Danis performance (yes, I did partially write this while watching that fight; no, I did not pay for it I’m not an idiot).

I’ll give Dana this. I may have written this blog in the wrong week. He stopped running the ball as much and let Donovan Smith do his thing. I appreciate that a lot. Smith had something like 16 straight completions. The O-line is still a point of major concern, especially after that TCU game that allowed 6 sacks. And UH only ran the ball 26 times last game. Dana let the offense show out. But who knows if against Texas we’re about to see another 40-run game?

And just to make this clear, I know he’s not the one calling the plays. But he’s the guy creating the schemes and creating the game plan. It’s his responsibility. Last season Dana was up for the play calling job. And again, this is a supposed offensive guru. Maybe Dana’s about to completely change. Maybe the offense is about to come into its own. But Dana hasn’t done it yet, and he shouldn’t be trusted to do it this time.

Recruiting

The biggest issue I have against Dana Holgorsen has nothing to do with his bad play calling, or his abrasive personality. It’s his inability to recruit. The last 5-star who played for UH was Ed Oliver, and Dana just kind of walked into that (like Chris Pezman lucked into the Sampson family).

It’s become a fascination of mine, because if you walk 500 feet down Cullen, you’ll find recruiting that works very well, especially when the somewhat dull draw of the AAC was shining. If you look at Kelvin’s last couple of recruiting classes, there’s a heavy Texas, especially Houston influence. And if we’re talking about recruiting you have to mention the transfer portal. Where is LJ Cryer, transferee and Pre-Season All-Big 12 Team from? That’s right, Katy, Texas. Kelvin is consistently getting highly rated, local recruits.

Then you walk back over to TDECU and look at the recruits, and it just feels like you’re stepping into a different world. There’s 3-star recruits from the area, sure. He even got a 4-star safety for next year. But this is Houston, not Amarillo. One of the big brain reasons to keep Houston out of the original Big 12 was recruiting (and Dana has talked about how great the Houston area is). Imagine you’re selling point being “want to come to a Power 5 Conference that’s in your hometown, play great football, and your family still gets to come watch every game?” It’s worked for basketball, because there are families at every game with t-shirts and posters and entire posses.

I’ll be the first to admit that star ratings don’t make the player. A 3-star can turn into a first-round pick that chums it up with Roger on stage. To look at UH basketball again, Kelvin Sampson makes it a point that he wants guys he can mold and indoctrinate into the UH mentality monsters; stars come second. Still, bringing in those top stars, those Ed Oliver immediate impact types is incredibly important in football, and especially when you’re in a new conference.

And this goes back to the defense. If you watch UH’s defense next to the offenses in the Big 12 we’ve been playing against, they are visibly smaller. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be able to tackle a bigger guy, but it surely helps if there’s not a 30-pound difference. There have to be some big meaty boys in Houston willing to stay in the city, and ready to absolutely smack around a Baylor boy. There has to be a 235-pound linebacker from the transfer portal who just really hates UT fans and want UT’s running back to suffer because of that.

I’ve never recruited players to college. I have also never run a football team; my football career stopped after middle school. But if Dabo Swinney’s corny NIL ass can get highly rated recruits to go to Clemson, I can’t be asking Dana to get us to Mars by asking for some beef.

The Requiem

Every week on CoogFans (this is my personal Bodybuilding.com now because that website is kind of dead) there’s a post about the horrible attendance at TDECU. This was UH’s return to its ancestral conference roots. After years of middling about in mid-major conferences after the political snub of the century, UH is finally back in a conference with in-state rivals and regional enemies. But no one really cares. And I’ll be honest, I’ve become one of them.

UH shouldn’t be struggling against West Virginia, to the point the fans are storming the field.

UH shouldn’t be losing to Rice; you can’t let the little brother have any space. Maybe I’m asking for too much here. Maybe realistically I’m asking for a newly promoted Premier League team to finish midtable easily.

But I don’t think that’s what this is. Because these aren’t new issues UH football is seeing. Dana has been here long enough to where there should be a future road, a path forward to where we’re at least competing, and I don’t feel an overwhelming sense of dread knowing TDECU is going to be mostly burnt orange come Saturday.

Dana, thank you for your service but the end of the road has come. Time to go back to late-night casinos. I’ll still come drink a vodka Red Bull with you, as an enthusiast myself. But I was pushing for Urban Meyer last year (I know it would destroy the team, but I’m ok with that), and that hasn’t stopped this year.

Au revoir Dana, I think it’s time to sleep.

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