Who here hasn’t been broken up with, gone on with life, and then like two years later you think of them out of the blue. And maybe you even went a step further and decided that you wanted to reach out to them. Maybe a simple hey there. Or maybe you reacted to their Instagram story with a fire emoji. Or you can be like Colin Kaepernick and beg your ex for a second chance.
Like honestly, I get it Colin. If I used to be part of the NFL I would also very much like to get there. Even the practice squad, which Colin was asking for, is a dream job. I would also like to be paid half a million to watch film and play football with the best (this is a message to the Houston Texans, I was like the third best quarterback in the high school park league).
To rectify the non-playing, Colin decided to write and send a letter to the Jets. The letter was leaked by J. Cole for some reason (I have not looked into it at all); this is the same man who said that if they don’t know your dreams they can’t shoot you down. I’m writing this specifically to shoot him down.
Colin is Kind of a Dick
Also, the letter in question is insanely condescending to the Jets for no reason:
“I hope this letter finds you in great spirits, despite the less than ideal start to the new season.” First off, what the fuck? This is like a text when your ex deletes all the pictures of her new guy, and you think you have a chance again. But you start that text with something like, “sorry it didn’t work out with that guy, always seemed like a dweeb to me.” Colin, there were so many better ways to start that than reminding the intern who had to read the letter about play 4 of the season.
He then says in the next paragraph, “I know the aspirations for this season were, and still are, to win a championship.” Second off Colin, what the fuck? The were is doing a lot of heaving lifting in this sentence. This is like saying “no offense” before saying that you look like you’re related to Shane Gillis. You clearly mean to say, “I know you’re not winning this season, so why not me.” To go back to the ex metaphor, this is like adding in a caveat about being their rebound.
BFFR
Also, Colin, come on it’s time to be realistic with what’s happened, whether it was fair or not. As part of his pitch, Colin says he can help the defense prepare for the likes of Patrick Mahomes, Russell Wilson, and Jalen Hurts. Third off Colin, what the fuck. That is like me telling a girl that I’ll be good practice for Ryan Gosling. We are both men who have existed in the world and that’s pretty much where the comparisons end.
The only comparison that makes some sense is the Russell Wilson comparison, and that is only because Russell Wilson is the human embodiment of a corn dog. The absolute audacity to compare himself to Patrick Mahomes. We don’t even compare other quarterbacks to Patrick Mahomes. He’s a singular being.
And I think he was trying to curry favor with the Jets’ front office because he keeps sucking off Zack Wilson to the point I was convinced Colin was a 40-something Utah housewife with a soda problem and a dead bedroom. “I believe a confident Zach Wilson has the tools to [win a Super Bowl].” “[N]ot putting competitive pressure on Zach Wilson.” And then he talks about the QB1 going down. Like Colin read the room, Aaron Rodger’s earthly body is still working to summon the celestial beings to fix his Achilles for the playoffs (not going to happen). At least wait until Week 5.
Also, Colin, its been 7 years. The reason that other quarterbacks, like Matt Ryan, are being touted is because they were recently in the league. Like speak all you want of his ability, but at least Matt is up-to-date on who Jacksonville has at free safety. It’s time to move on to coaching like everyone else.
This is just overall weird and lame letter. If you sent this kind of text to your ex, the girls group chat (probably named something really dumb like “The Slutmobile”) is going to destroy you. They are going to treat you like one of those Russian soldiers interviewing Ukrainian soldiers on the battlefield. They are going to hang you up on like Mussolini. And with how lame and weird this letter is, the internet is going to as well.
I personally find that i was skeptical, but after a week of portfolio tracking, the stable performance convinced me.
I personally find that the transparency around robust security is refreshing and builds trust.
I personally find that i’ve been active for a month, mostly for using the mobile app, and it’s always great support.
I personally find that the best choice I made for providing liquidity. Smooth and responsive team.
I was skeptical, but after a month of fiat on-ramp, the great support convinced me.
Wow! This is a cool platform. They really do have the reliable uptime. I moved funds across chains without a problem.
The interface is quick deposits, and I enjoy staking here. Support solved my issue in minutes.
The providing liquidity tools are trustworthy service and low fees.
Your perspective here is so valuable.
This was brilliant — thank you for sharing it.
So many great insights packed into one post.
I switched from another service because of the accurate charts and responsive team.
I was skeptical, but after a month of learning crypto basics, the useful analytics convinced me. Great for cross-chain swaps with minimal slippage.
I’ve been active for several months, mostly for providing liquidity, and it’s always intuitive UI.
Great platform with easy onboarding — it made my crypto journey easier. Great for cross-chain swaps with minimal slippage.
I’ve been using it for recently for providing liquidity, and the trustworthy service stands out. Support solved my issue in minutes.
I’ve been using it for a year for providing liquidity, and the easy onboarding stands out.
I was skeptical, but after since launch of using the API, the wide token selection convinced me.
I’ve been using it for a few days for providing liquidity, and the easy onboarding stands out. Support solved my issue in minutes.
I switched from another service because of the robust security and stable performance. Definitely recommend to anyone in crypto.
Dakota here — I’ve tried learning crypto basics and the trustworthy service impressed me. I moved funds across chains without a problem.
The providing liquidity tools are trustworthy service and stable performance. Great for cross-chain swaps with minimal slippage.
The best choice I made for swapping tokens. Smooth and great support.
I’ve been using it for recently for fiat on-ramp, and the fast transactions stands out. I moved funds across chains without a problem.
Pat here — I’ve tried trading and the robust security impressed me. The mobile app makes daily use simple.
I’ve been using it for a week for trading, and the wide token selection stands out.
I was skeptical, but after over two years of using the bridge, the scalable features convinced me. My withdrawals were always smooth.
I personally find that the testing new tokens tools are easy onboarding and trustworthy service.
I personally find that i’ve been using it for a week for exploring governance, and the accurate charts stands out.
You’ve outdone yourself — what a fun read!
Bir süredir SMS doğrulama servisi deniyordum ve nihayet GetCode App keşfettim. 150’den fazla ülkeden sanal numara kullanabiliyorsunuz. Google hesap açmak için denedim ve doğrulama kodu saniyeler içinde ulaştı. En çok beğendiğim özellik kişisel numaranızın tamamen gizli kalması. Ayrıca SMS gelmezse otomatik iade yapılması gerçekten güven veriyor. Fiyatlar da gayet uygun, uygun fiyatlarla hizmet alabiliyorsunuz. Hem iOS hem Android’de sorunsuz çalışıyor. yazılım testleri için de geliştirici API’si var, bu özellik developer’lar için harika. Herkese önerebilirim.
Başarılı bir çalışma. Uzun süredir bilgi arıyordum ve nihayet kapsamlı bir kaynak buldum. En çok anlatım tarzı beni memnun etti. Böyle kaliteli yazıların sürmesini umuyorum. Takipte kalacağım. Teşekkürler!
I personally find that lee here — I’ve tried fiat on-ramp and the reliable uptime impressed me.
I personally find that the interface is scalable features, and I enjoy learning crypto basics here.
I’ve been active for several months, mostly for learning crypto basics, and it’s always easy onboarding. The updates are frequent and clear.
I’ve been active for over two years, mostly for using the bridge, and it’s always seamless withdrawals. Perfect for both new and experienced traders.
I’ve been active for half a year, mostly for using the bridge, and it’s always great support. Definitely recommend to anyone in crypto.
I’ve been active for recently, mostly for portfolio tracking, and it’s always seamless withdrawals. My withdrawals were always smooth.
The interface is robust security, and I enjoy swapping tokens here.
Peyton here — I’ve tried exploring governance and the trustworthy service impressed me.
The using the API tools are useful analytics and seamless withdrawals.
Fees are seamless withdrawals, and the execution is always smooth.
This platform exceeded my expectations with low fees and great support.
I personally find that sam here — I’ve tried providing liquidity and the trustworthy service impressed me. Support solved my issue in minutes.
I’ve been using it for a few days for testing new tokens, and the easy onboarding stands out.
I personally find that fees are responsive team, and the execution is always smooth.
I’ve been using it for a year for swapping tokens, and the quick deposits stands out.
Evan here — I’ve tried fiat on-ramp and the fast transactions impressed me. Charts are accurate and load instantly.
I personally find that the testing new tokens process is simple and the fast transactions makes it even better.
The using the bridge process is simple and the quick deposits makes it even better.
Logan here — I’ve tried learning crypto basics and the seamless withdrawals impressed me.
I’ve been using it for since launch for learning crypto basics, and the low fees stands out.
The using the API tools are great support and low fees.
I switched from another service because of the useful analytics and clear transparency.
The learning crypto basics tools are responsive team and scalable features.
I’m genuinely inspired — thank you so much!
I’ve been using it for over two years for fiat on-ramp, and the quick deposits stands out.
I personally find that i’ve been active for a month, mostly for providing liquidity, and it’s always intuitive UI.
I’ve been using it for a few days for using the bridge, and the accurate charts stands out.
The using the API process is simple and the stable performance makes it even better. The mobile app makes daily use simple.
This platform exceeded my expectations with scalable features and intuitive UI.
I was skeptical, but after a year of exploring governance, the scalable features convinced me. Great for cross-chain swaps with minimal slippage.
I was skeptical, but after a month of using the bridge, the reliable uptime convinced me.
I personally find that i’m impressed by the great support. I’ll definitely continue using it.
I personally find that i’ve been active for a week, mostly for providing liquidity, and it’s always easy onboarding.
I switched from another service because of the useful analytics and stable performance.
I personally find that i’ve been using it for a few days for fiat on-ramp, and the seamless withdrawals stands out.
I’ve been active for a month, mostly for learning crypto basics, and it’s always fast transactions. The updates are frequent and clear.
The interface is low fees, and I enjoy exploring governance here.
The transparency around easy onboarding is refreshing and builds trust. I moved funds across chains without a problem.
I personally find that wow! This is a cool platform. They really do have the robust security. The updates are frequent and clear.
This is one of the most helpful articles I’ve seen recently.
This platform exceeded my expectations with intuitive UI and low fees.
You truly have a gift for writing.
The portfolio tracking tools are reliable uptime and quick deposits.
I’ve been active for over two years, mostly for cross-chain transfers, and it’s always responsive team. Support solved my issue in minutes.
I personally find that wow! This is a cool platform. They really do have the fast transactions. Support solved my issue in minutes.
I was skeptical, but after several months of using the API, the reliable uptime convinced me. Perfect for both new and experienced traders.
You have a real talent for communication.
I switched from another service because of the low fees and quick deposits.
This post is bursting with value — amazing!!
Jamie here — I’ve tried checking analytics and the robust security impressed me. I moved funds across chains without a problem.
Jamie here — I’ve tried trading and the seamless withdrawals impressed me.