Bills’ Fans Are Better than Any Fanbase

Sports fans have the uncanny ability of becoming completely destitute based purely upon a few bad seasons. Patriots fans are ready to take Mac Jones and throw him into the Boston Harbor in hopes of sparking a drafting or trading revolution. Detroit fans most likely sold the soul of their city, similar to Houston, to make the Lions a playoff team. But the Bills’ fans, despite the best efforts of the team over the years, have not only remained motived as a fan base. They’ve also remained motivated as the true psychopaths they are. Any group of people who determine that it is okay to live that far north are mentally deranged. But not only live there, they bask in the complete ice fall their city becomes when the Sun forgets

Whenever I heard that the Bills-Steelers’ game was being postponed due to the weather I was disappointed for a few reasons. First, this country used to make steel and now we’re canceling football games. Washington didn’t cross the Delaware in freezing conditions on Christmas for us to not play a game in some cold conditions. Now we have the governor of New York stopping the greatest general in America’s history, Josh Allen, from crossing into Steelers’ territory. This is the future liberals want; football played in pristine conditions on non-frozen grass.

But, secondly, I was disappointed because we wouldn’t be able to see the Bills’ fans at their most degenerate. Sure, everyone and their terminally online father has made the joke about canceling the game, and then showing Bills fans doing ridiculous acts of bodily-mutilation. Like this:

And

The Bills’s fans are just better than your fan base in every single way. There is nothing that can compete with this group. European soccer fans have this idea that their fan bases are more passionate and loyal because they chant and travel to away games. The second point can be quickly defeated because the European mind is unable to comprehend how far the trip is from Buffalo to Miami. And while chanting is cool, has any European team sacrificed their fans to “The Pit“?

Bills fans are just the best. Every new video or story I see about them is another ridiculous Rube Goldberg mechanism for supporting the Bills through self-violence and vague tailgate-alcoholism. I am in awe of the dedication to a franchise that is so hardened by the cold weather and cold streaks. Because even though this blog focuses on the recent shenanigans of the Bills’ fans, this is a fanbase esteemed in constant ridiculousness at the behest of a historically lackluster football team.

And then even when I thought I could not find more passion in my love for these ridiculous humans that are a perfect caricature of American sports culture, they go and do it again. In Houston, if the McNair family called in the troops to clean NRG for $20/hr and a sandwich, three people would show up and one would be Tony Buzbee looking for more publicity. In Buffalo, not only do they show up, it becomes the event of the snowstorm.

Watching the actual game felt like a masterclass in environmental usage that even the Dice engine would fawn at. The the Bills fans decide to use the snow to their advantage, and not only to chill their beers (which also happened).

I have seen this called “corny” and “unfair”, but what do we think home-field advantage means? If I was a Steelers fan I would be livid, but let’s not pretend the people of Pittsburgh are some paragons of virtue after years of Big Ben (I love whataboutisms). Also, as a Texan who has experienced snowballs very few times in my life, I’d be honored if a smashed Buffalo resident honored me by pelting me with a snowball. This is home-field advantage taken to its logical extent.

Bills fans are my favorite. If we’re honest, following a sports team with a rotating door of players for years, only to never be able to play into citywide jingoism after a championship is a circle of hell not even Dante would be creative enough to come up with. Yet, every year, the people return. The Field of Dreams says if you build it they will come. The Snowfall of Buffalo says, if you put a flaming table in the middle of a tailgate, they will come.

Even in everything, I hope we remember the true heroes of the day. The team that brought this victory to Buffalo through meticulous training, full heartedness, and a vision to see a brighter future for all peoples.

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