Go ahead and call me an old head before you even read the full blog, because I’m going full old head. Imagine me saying that Juice WRLD is whiny and JPEGMAFIA just makes sounds. Hey, even imagine me saying that the NBA has changed for the worse (it has, I watched Dream Team highlights last month). But I don’t think Gonzaga should join the Big 12. And I think the new age conference realignment is making everything about college sports worse.
Gonzaga is apparently the new mid-conference player getting added the Big 12’s slate of freshmen (who are getting absolutely pummeled).
I know this isn’t an especially new take. There’s probably someone out there who’s already said what I’m about to say much better than I’m about to. And really Gonzaga is just here for SEO purposes, because it’s the headliner for the day. But the addition of Gonzaga to the Big 12 is just perpetuating what’s going to end up ruining the soul of college sports.
The Philosophy Behind College Teams
I promise this heading isn’t some Kant diatribe on metaphysics or a Lockian breakdown of why college sports exist. It’s more a rendering of why college sports matter like they do. Again, I know this isn’t new or interesting, but I want to put it in my own words, because it’s been on my mind for a while.
There’s something that distinguishes between college sports and pro sports that’s abstract and I don’t think it’s easily attributable to a single idea. Some may say it’s soul. Some may say it’s drive. It may even be the money (even though that’s vaguely changed, and I never thought that was it). Youthful memory plays a part of it. But there’s some wispy, non-seeable ideal that permeates everything about college sports. If anything it’s an uneven combination of all those things that play out every time the brass section of a band plays a 10-second hype piece.
I contend, though, one of the main things that make college sports so [insert whatever you want from the previous paragraph] is the general closeness of conference opponents. And it’s because of two things: fans and concepts.
Your Best Friend’s Team Sucks
Rivalry makes the world go ’round in sports. Years ago, when I checked Facebook more than once a year, there was a girl who was a fan of the “Commanders” (this was like 2012 insert the WFT if you want) would call the Dallas Cowboys the “Cowgirls”. I always found that funny. But it was funny because it was the only time I ever saw it. If i lived in DC or some place close to the Command Post (I’m trademarking it), I doubt that would be a phrase I never see.
But if you ask me how many UT fans I know, I’ll make you a list of 100. If you ask me how many A&M fans I know, I’ll list you hundreds of people who are in a cult. If you ask me how many Baylor fans I know, and I’ll name you more people than still think about Chip and Joanna Gaines (are they still relevant?). You see where I’m going? I can text friends of mine, who I’ve known since I was 11 and make fun of them for losing to Oklahoma. The same way that person is going to rail me with expletives comes next Saturday when it has its way with UH.
Part of what makes college sports fun is your relation to the opposing fans. If you’re in the midst of conference play, or least that’s how it was, you’d be texting that one person in the days leading up to the game. And even if your whole relationship is dependent on that game every year, that’s still something isn’t? It’s an extra personal commitment to the game.
You just really can’t get that in sports. Whenever the Texans play the Colts, I know both John Green and Pat McAfee are watching, but that really doesn’t change the stakes of the game for me. It doesn’t make me invest more of myself. But when UH plays SMU, I want those coke-addicted mannerless snobs to go back to their (very nice) homes disheveled, and not from the seltzers they’re probably drinking. To steal the tagline from Liverpool FC, playing someone you know just means more.
The Idea of a Rival
This vaguely relates to the fan section, because we know people (or at least heard of people) who went to and make up those geographic rivals. I can create the idea of UT in my head. The concept of Baylor makes sense to me, because I’ve grown up around Baylor fans and in proximity to Waco. I even have a story I tell to describe A&M fans (a friend of mine from Illinois once told me he didn’t get the hate around A&M fans, and then he met A&M fans).
I don’t have that for USC fans. To this day I don’t have a great vibe for Cincinnati. I do have one for Memphis but that’s because we always stay the entire time at the AAC tournament (and a real compliment to them because they’re all lovely people).
And I like playing teams that I have a general clue about. Geographic conferences existed for a reason; it also helps when your softball team doesn’t have to travel to Rutgers on a Wednesday, because they actually have to go to their Kinesiology class on Thursday afternoon.
Rivals shouldn’t have to talk to each other over Facebook posts. I should go to my local Academy (do they have those outside of Texas?) and get annoyed when there are only UT and A&M shirts at the front of the story. I should know the vibe of the TCU horny frogs without having to do research on what city Nebraska is in.
We learned from Biggie and Tupac that East-Coasters and West-Coasters are just different. What do you think a guy like Andrew Luck would think meeting a guy named Uncle Sal who’s obsessed with taking Rutgers (“Rutgas”) moneyline. The vibe is just on different planets, and one is even on Pluto (RIP little guy).
Gonzaga Goes East
So this goes back to one of the main questions: Why do I hate the new age of conference realignment. The short answer: because college sports lose their soul along the way. Colin Cowerd is correct when he said the games will get better. Who doesn’t want to see USC-Michigan on an almost-Thanksgiving Great Lake-cold night?
But the thing is, I always want to see Gonzaga-Oregon on January 14th at noon. I want to see Florida-UCF on a day in September that makes you feel like a whore in church. And the truth is, they may not be as good of games, but it will mean more to the people. At least I’d like to think so. Maybe I’m wrong and the people really want to see Duke and Wisconsin play each other in basketball every season.
Gonzaga is probably going to join the Big 12. And I probably don’t have room to talk, because I’ll continue to profit with good college basketball. Conference realignment has been a net positive for me in terms of college sports. But it doesn’t mean I like the concept (the breakup of the Southwest Conference and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race). I’m still going to tune into Ohio State-USC, but it’s going to feel wrong.
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