Welcome back to the in-person coverage of the AAC Men’s Tournament. Yesterday was a lot of words and a lot of new teams and players. I debated even doing this again, but why not use an experience as content, especially when tickets are $5. I’ve also been told that the announcers for the tournament rocked.
I should point out that I genuinely write this blog not having looked at the stats from the games. Everything is purely off vibes and what I see with my eyes. I’m like an old MLB scout who still rates players on if he finds their girlfriends hot (and it’s a very narrow criteria for the boomer era).
This blog also isn’t going to be as section-long, just because I used 2400 words last blog and didn’t even try to portion out the sections. So, today, this will be more overall narrative and less moment driven. Also, I’m writing this at 2 am because I refuse to sleep in March (and I’m jazzed after the GCU v. UTA game. Dunk rocked, response was justified).
JFK and Dallas
Because this is an experience blog, I’ll include what I did before the game as well. The game started at 2, and I had recently finished 11/22/63 by Stephen King. (If you care about spoilers skip to the next paragraph). It probably wasn’t being sold in the gift shop, because the book ends with the main character finding out that if he stops JFK from being killed the world falls apart. So, I imagine, the people at the former book depository were not jazzed to push that the President had to die.
Also, not to complain about prices, but it’s $25 per ticket for an adult. That seems kind of crazy, especially because it’s not like they’re continually curating the building. With that said, if another president is assassinated I have a very lucrative business deal for some of you.
I’m also vaguely conspiratorial about the whole ordeal. But I’m pretty sure the museum was trying to make me worse. First off, they constantly mention that multiple reports found that there was a second shooter using auditory investigative techniques. Second, there’s this whole thing about a clean bullet found on the stretcher, and it’s just never explained. Also, they make Lee Harvey Oswald seem incredibly lame and like he was just sad to be divorced. Am I being psyopped? Like does everyone come away thinking this.
Also all time ironic quote from the Governor of Texas who said “Mr. President you can’t say Dallas doesn’t love you,” at 12:29. Kennedy was shot at 12:30. That’s an Always Sunny title card gag.
Also, you know how there was discourse about how every man thinks they can land a plane? I’m pretty sure I’ve stumbled upon “every man thinks they could assassinate JFK.” Because when you see the view of the motorcade, Oswald’s equipment, and the fact Oswald wasn’t even a good shooter it doesn’t seem that hard. (I’m telling you they go out of their way to make him look lame. Wouldn’t you want a presidential assassin to look kind of cool? Like imagine if your country’s leader got assassinated by a weasel accountant who had asthma? I’d invade that country immediately.). And I talked to multiple guys, all who had the same thought process.
Anyway, want to give a shoutout to the little girl who walked right in front of a group of readers, took several unfocused pictures of the board as she went through, and then just walked away. Great moment literally no one else acknowledged how funny it was. Back to your regularly scheduled sports content.
USF v. UAB
First Half
I’m calling this the Jordan Jelly memorial game. Not because he was ever associated with USF, nor is he dead, nor has he been a UAB player for multiple years. I just want to keep his memory alive.
I’ll be honest I also showed up to this game late. I was too busy being radicalized by the City of Dallas, who I think owns the book depository. Also, it was pouring and that made the 45 minute drive even longer.
So I showed up with 8 minutes left in the first half completely unaware of anything that happened (because I will rawdog my game enjoyment). There were a good amount of fans at this game. I mean that in terms of an AAC Tournament without Memphis and it’s former well-traveling teams. It even got a Jon Rothstein shoutout.
I know my standards are incredibly low for the tournament attendance, but I thought it was a good crowd for teams from Alabama and Florida.
There was also one very proud and loud USF fan. Face painted, bottom 5 rows, yelling incredibly loudly the entire game. He even brought a sign, maybe all the way from Florida. I was with him until I saw he left his sign there for the employees to clean. I understand being distraught after the game, but that’s a high end scumbag move.
I was also an immediate fan of the USF coach. Hands up, I haven’t watched a ton of the American this season, so I was unaware of his style. My old head take is that coaches should wear suits. And this guy was rocking a well-fitting suit, complete with a pocket square and a cool demeanor. I genuinely don’t think I ever saw him raise his voice.
I bring him up specifically because during a break in the action he was past the line for coaches. Which, like, every coach is. All the time. Shaka Smart plays defense. And this USF coach wasn’t even animated, he was just past the line. But the ref made a point to go up to him and tell him he needed to get behind the line. This is when I was informed the ref is incredibly legalistic. And, as the second played out, it was stunningly true.
I want to send a bit of hate toward Kasean Pryor, number 11 on USF. I come to find out later he can actually shoot, but watching him in the first half was excruciating. He was taking way too many shots for how many he was hitting. He also missed almost every free throw, but went through an entire song and dance before shooting the ball. We’re talking up to 15 seconds of diddling himself and the ball before attempting a shot that hit the side of the rim.
I do want to send some love to Eric Gaines, number 4 on UAB. Bro was driving the ball and just kind of willing his team to win. He was one of the reasons USF seemed to foul so much; they just couldn’t stop him. Also shoutout to number 3, Yaxel Lendeborg and Tony Toney. Those are some All-American names.
One last note on the first half, I put a note that said “UAB Band.” I have no memory of the UAB band. I do have these pictures of its dragon mascot who rocked.
Second Half
At halftime they honored the AAC commissioner on his retirement. I genuinely feel for the guy. He tried to create a powerful conference, and I think if he had a couple years, the whole Power 6 argument would have caught on. The problem is that the Big 12 came calling. And the ACC. There was no way he could compete with that, especially with UH working desperately to get back into the reformed SWC. For all the criticisms of the tournament and conference, I won’t ever hate on him, because the AAC was always gung-ho for UH, even when they put the Big 12 logo on the athletic center last year.
It turns out my Pryor slander unjustified, because it turns out he’s actually an excellent shooter. I come to find out later he’s one of the better shooters on the team that won the AAC regular season. I’d like to apologize for my unjustified hate, when he was just having a bad half. And that’s how UAB went from looking stellar to start the first half, to tied. All because of a Birdman wannabe.
The USF section was incredibly wild. After a couple big dunks they were losing their minds. This included a woman holding a baby who then proceeded to berate the UAB players. I’m pretty sure she was in a flock of coaches wives, because they were all cheering such that the baby probably needed headphones. Possibly shaking baby syndrome.
I mentioned earlier that the head ref was really legalistic, and that it looked, from my vantage, that USF was fouling a lot. When USF got back to my end I realized that wasn’t the case, they were just trying to defend against a pretty physical UAB. The refs ended up punishing USF for that. The refs also gave USF a goaltended basket on a dunk and pretty hard landing. The gaggle of refs next to me disagreed with the call, because both players are allowed to put their hands on the rim to help control their fall. It ended up being overturned.
The refs fully injected themselves into this game. There were 3 techs called, all for talking. Given how the head ref was acting the entire game, I’d imagine it was just some chirping. I didn’t see any player acting heinously, just annoyed with foul calls. Which, to be fair, the foul calls seemed incredibly soft in the second half. At least it was poorly done on everyone, even USF was punished more. Again, it might be how UAB plays. USF’s death was because of these free throws. UAB was kept in this game by the refs. And, even with that the momentum kept changing. It was honestly a really good game.
UAB wins.
This is my last note from this game, and I was so interested I tweeted about it, which I literally never do. I’m convinced the game should have ended 95-83. At the end of the game, a UAB player took a simple layup, because he was under the basket and alone. I genuinely think it was accidental, but this is my only evidence of the incident.
The ball is leaving his hands at 0.4 seconds. I am fully in conspiracy mode. The refs for how anal and legalistic they were should have called that. I will be publishing an entire blog on it.
Dickies Arena Halftime Review
Welcome to the Dickies Arena halftime show. I realize I did a vaguely bad job talking about the arena at all. To be fair this isn’t Cameron Indoor, this is an all-event venue. So here are some things that I found made the arena memorable.
First, there’s this little bathroom near the bar. It’s actually relatively nice, because during breaks in the game, there’s a rush to the other bathrooms. This is a bathroom you kind of have to realize exists. And I don’t think most people even go toward that area. With that said, I think this is the worst bathroom to poop in in America. Imagine you’ve just consumed a couple banana puddings (solid 6.7/10) and a corn dog (bad breading, no flavor 3.9/10) and your bowels have started to play peek-a-boo with the outside world. Now, you rush to the smallest bathroom in the venue to free yourself from the intestinal discomfort. Well, here’s the view outside the stall.
This is a disgrace to the little shitters everywhere. Just a side note, a guy started having a conversation about the game mid-pee. Seems like a nice guy but please this is unacceptable behavior.
I had mentioned the ushers yesterday, and today they had especially beady eyes. Like someone posted everywhere to move you along if you stood a little too long. Now, listen, I understand trying to make sure no one’s sneaking around. With that said, at any one time, there were probably less than 500 people in the arena. There’s a tweet out there about a guy being kicked out for accosting the refs from his seat. I would embed the tweet but I don’t love the idea of posting the face of some random security guard who’s just trying to do his job. But that kind of captures the vibe of the whole event.
My brother was told that he needed to not go into the suite area and to move along. He was in a very publicly accessible area just trying to see the scores of some of the other games. Games which were not on. The Arena had a hard on for showing college baseball and softball, especially SEC teams. Kudos to the tech people for changing the channels, but it would make sense to me to have other conference tournaments on at the conference tournament. It’s a minor complaint, and not even that annoying, just a begrudging observation.
On that same second floor there were these free portable chargers from Reliant. Genuinely very cool, because that saved me two days in a row as my iPhone X is begging to die. It’s completely free, all you have to give is an email and a credit card for a potential late fee. The late fee is only incurred the next day too. I promise this isn’t sponsored (we here at Moon Stamp would love a sponsor though. We have no standards just sponsor us), I just think it’s incredibly cool.
FAU v Temple
FAU started the pregame by playing a hype video that uses Many Men. I have no clue what it is about that song, but the way it gets everyone hype. And it just hits like crack the moment you hear the track start. I was going for Temple, because I have become a fan. They were an 11 seed going into the tournament, tied for last in the conference, and somehow have made it this far. I’m pretty sure the Temple coach had plans today in Philly. Now, he might have to go play in the tournament. What a horrible way for him to end his season.
You’ll also realize the analysis may be lacking for this game. It’s because it’s subject to the UH curse. In this case, the A&M (avid hater) and UH curse. I ended up watching the end of Florida-A&M because I am a hater and praying on the downfall of my enemies. My enemy being a team in a conference my team is not even a part of. Then, of course, UH plays. I have some first half notes for that game. After that, my analysis stops for my own sake.
I would like to create a team of Sam Hoffman, Khalifa from BYU, and America’s new big man, Burns. This team will be dominant and none of them will look like they should play basketball. I’ve now learned Hofman is from Belgium, which makes sense why he is not starting in the NFL. He was not properly introduced to American football in his youth. If I’m the bears, I may call him up. He also averages like 6 points a game. All of them 3s and all of them in the second half. He is an enigma. I love him.
The game started really fun. I mentioned yesterday that FAU apparently plays down to their competition. This is a problem when your competition is Temple. As I said, I have become a fan of Temple, but these boys just can’t shoot. They don’t look like an 11 seed, but they may be masons with the amount of bricks they put up. They could probably build a set of starter homes in a gentrified area for themselves. This is only enhanced by the fact Temple shot multiple air balls. You’re not allowed to take open 3s and then air it. That should be a flagrant 2. At one point temple was 1-13 from the field.
I also want to give a shoutout to FAU’s Goldin. There was a point where he got triple teamed in the post, didn’t even jump, and still dunked. He’s my favorite Monstar for that reason. I’m that same vein, I want to highlight Temple’s Settle III, who is Wemby light. Not that he plays like him, but has the same weird lanky build.
UH Note: Iowa State fans rock. That one gif of that fan dying is genuinely HOF worthy. Also, Damien Dunn please stop baiting fouls every shot. It looks ridiculous.
My second half notes aren’t much, because I went down to the first row and really got into the game. FAU was incredibly streaky on defense – either shutting down Temple easily, or giving up undefended layups. Temple was also shooting as well as they could, while USF was so focused on hitting 3s they couldn’t hit.
The game actually ended incredibly, such that the Temple fans in front of my all genuinely jumped up. The score was 74-73 after a pair of missed free throws, and I was convinced FAU was going to drive down and get fouled to win. Something akin to Akron-Kent St. Instead this happened:
Fun ending to a fun game that cemented my Temple fandom. It was also a great way to end my tenure at the tournament. I’ll probably be back next year, unless I go to the Southland tournament.
Final AAC Tournament Thoughts
I think everyone should experience a mid-major tournament weekend (or at least a couple sessions) at some point. If anything go to a low-major tournament. They’re cheap and they’re fun. You don’t have any attachment to the teams outside the weird and fun things you notice while downing a way too large box of popcorn in your $4 seat. For all the flack the AAC gets for attendance and location, it’s a fun time. I imagine this tournament will be leaving Fort Worth sooner than later, especially as the conference gets more fans farther east.
Either team that wins later today is going to be a bid stealer, but I’m fully behind Temple. As much as their inclusion further hurts Indiana State and Cream Abdul Jabar, I genuinely would like to see them in the tournament. It will also be incredibly funny to see a team under investigation for purposely losing win a conference tournament. And I’d love to see where the committee ends up putting them (13 seed you cowards).
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