Manchester City is Third in the Table, Bring Out the Crab Rave

Since 2017, I have been continually tormented by men in sky blue uniforms who have operated a classic music-like orchestra under the direction of a Spanish genius. The only reprieve I received was in 2020, and even then the relief was tainted by the fact that the 11 or so men of my nightmares would be back. Manchester City operated as a perpetual bleak spot on the updated scores and Fotmob app that

So excuse me somewhat for taking this moment to gleefully say, with a childlike wonder, that Manchester City are in third!!!!!

The slight Tottenham was left there on purpose.

Someone get the crab rave going

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Boys, we did it. The Norwegian robot and his goldilocks mane have been bested by the world beaters at Wolves and Newcastle. Jack Grealish’s enormous calves and very small brain are all for nothing. Also, imagine tying Spurs, could never be Liverpool. And even better, Dolph Lundgren in boots isn’t even their best player this season. I look like third times is really the charm you albino freak.

Now, do they have a game tomorrow? Sure, but it’s against Aston Villa, whom I’ve told have the support of the crown prince (not the Newcastle Crown Prince), and are currently in fourth. Who better to take down Manchester City than Jack’s old club.

Do they also have a game in hand? Also sure, but that doesn’t matter when they get crushed by Unai Emery, who like Rikishi, is doing it for Arsenal.

At some point they’ll probably get it together and go full treble-winning City, but I’d like to believe that Pep will ruin them. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s been burned out by a team. It would be the first time he screwed over an entire country though.

Hey Pep, how many times have you lost this season?

Here’s the tl;dr for this entire blog. I’m glad Blood Money FC is in third. I don’t expect them to stay in third. Go Villa. Up there villagers (?) (it’s better than Cityzens).

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