En route to watching Scottie Scheffler win his second Masters in 3 years, I noticed something: he’s an incredibly boring guy. Which is probably good for the game of golf at the moment. Right now, the golf world is stuck in a battle for its soul. Or, more realistically, it’s stuck in a battle for control between two merging entities who can’t seem to agree on anything. I’m not fully up on the merger between PGA and LIV, but from the little tidbits I got from the Masters commentators, they haven’t merged yet. It’s also backed up by a very quick Google search.
With LIV slowly, but surely, luring the top PGA players away with the riches to allow golfers’ great-great grandkids to live off trust funds, how do you make the PGA exciting? Some high-profile golfers are unpoachable. Look at Rory McIlroy; he genuinely hates LIV golf, even though they’re trying to media-poach him. And don’t get me wrong, I’m convinced the PGA will win the overall war. Why? Have you ever watched a LIV broadcast? I genuinely miss Arlo White and his golden velvety voice on the calls for the Premier League, but his voice just doesn’t fit the LIV tour. There’s something just arrogantly soulless about the broadcasts.
I know he’s nice to LIV players now, but I’d like to believe he still legitimately hates LIV.
But even if I think PGA ultimately wins the war (including for geopolitical reasons), it doesn’t mean that PGA is perfect.
Fighting Soulessness with…Boredom?
I’ll be the first to say that I’m happy lower-end golfers are getting guaranteed pay and aren’t having to take the Max Homa route. And there is some good coming out of this competition; the PGA Tour is finally looking into change. For a sport so dedicated to tradition, sometimes the future is now.
The reason I think that PGA ultimately wins this war is because of the tradition. LIV feels like the megachurch of the golf world (weird comparison, but I think it works). Lots of flash and pomp and circumstance and trying to get you to think of how cool this all is. Take this men’s conference for example.
This is the best representation of LIV golf I can give without showing any clips of LIV golf. I’m not showing clips because if I’m saying PGA will win I need to stick by it. So, for now, I’m not sharing LIV clips. But that soullessness, that corporate creation, pervades every orifice of a LIV golf production on the CW. The format of LIV golf is like if a marketing executive saw the success of F1 and the Ryder Cup in America and said, “Hey why don’t we do that?” It’s not like anyone’s watching, though. The problem is that the PGA Tour is also dropping viewership.
There are people accusing Scottie Scheffler of being the reason for the drop in Masters’ viewership. I don’t think that’s fully the case, but I also don’t think it’s fully not the case. And, listen, I need to get this out there. Scottie Scheffler is on a legitimately insane run. This man has already earned $15 million this year. It’s like if Jordan was the only player for the Bulls, and was blowing out teams in the Finals. It’s also like if he was throwing 900+ yards a game.
Again, with that said, I do think Scottie is very boring. I’m not expecting golfers to come at me with pizzaz; I mentioned tradition for a reason. But Scottie Scheffler plays it extremely safe on the course, and he just kind of reminds me of that guy running for Congress in Parks and Rec who acted like a robot. And I don’t care how many times you show me those pictures of him at the bar with the Green Jacket. It only goes to prove my point that he reminds me of a guy who joined a frat at his state college, got an accounting job out of college, and now lives in a new suburb and plays pickup basketball every Wednesday at the community center. Is he living a good life? Yes. Is he bringing in viewers to watch non-major Tour events? No.
It might be time to talk about a personality vacuum at the top of the PGA. Sure, Scottie is not to blame for any viewership problems. At the same time, I’m not exactly sure he’s helping with viewership. Maybe, the PGA Tour needs something to spice everything up. I propose someone like Chael Sonnen.
The Chael Sonnen of Golf
Okay, with all that backing, we’ve reached the point where I can finally explain my Chael Sonnen theory. The original title for the blog was, “Scottie Scheffler and Golf Need a Villain.” But I think there’s already a villain, LIV. And even though LIV doesn’t appear on the course, it is an ever-overarching entity waiting in the wings. At the majors, when Bryson DeChambeau goes up to stun the commentator by hitting over the trees on the right, the villain is there. So how do you excite people? You introduce a wild card.
For those of you unfamiliar with MMA, Chael Sonnen is a good fighter. I say good not great – he’s still really good. He’s no Khabib, but he’s in the top .01% of fighters. But he’s not in any conversations for greatest fighters. Do you know what he is the greatest at? Talking. Chael Sonnen brought the professional wrestling-style promo to MMA and just killed it. He legitimately talked his way into title fights. And you know what, people loved him for it. But, more importantly for this context, people tuned into it. If you have time, watch this 10-minute video of him just talking.
I don’t know how many of you are in the business of watching MMA fighters speak, but they’re either really boring or expletive-spouting like McGregor. Sure, McGregor gets the crowd going, but there’s nothing special; he just says it kind of funny. Chael Sonnen has a bit about the Nogueira brothers feeding a carrot to a bus because they thought it was a horse. And he’s done the bit across multiple interviews. He also just does bits in interviews – “I thought if you tapped you lost the round.”
Scottie Scheffler and golf don’t need a villain. They need a Chael Sonnen who will sell golf to the masses. Can you imagine the Waste Management tournament if one of the golfers went out there before the tournament and said, “I’m the reason Waldo is hiding?” They’d have to cut off the patrons a couple of minutes before the Thursday rounds start. PGA doesn’t need a villain, it needs a needle mover.
And, sure, Chael could play the good guy or the bad guy depending on the situation. Against Anderson Silva, he’s the bad guy. Against Jon Jones, he’s the good guy (to be fair Stalin could be the good guy against Jon Jones). Scottie Scheffler doesn’t need a villain; he needs a foil. He needs someone who will make up for the fact Scottie reminds me of the movie version of an accountant.
I could’ve chosen The Rock or John Cena or Maxwell Jacob Friedman for this, but, and I mean no offense to pro wrestlers, they’re entertainers who put on physical theater. Chael Sonnen is a fighter who also dabbles as a world-class talker. How do you combat the soulless presentation of LIV without being boring? Bring in someone who is incredibly real. This person would also need to be good at golf because it is the PGA tour. But, this is my perfect scenario.
Maybe Rory will step up and become this guy. But it’s probably a little too late to put that on him. And I’m not well-versed enough to say there’s someone on the Korn Ferry tour. Maybe someone give Max Homa a ring.
But, what Scottie Scheffler and golf really need is a Chael Sonnen-type. To move the needle, you need a needle mover.
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