This blog is based off one single tweet from Texas A&M Football. The problem with that tweet is that it personified everything I feel about Texas A&M, and especially Texas A&M sports. I felt this sweeping sense of righteous indignation when I saw what they were bragging about now.
Now, you may see that tweet and go “oh wow good for them.” But the second someone asks the question “hey who were those Texas schools” the entirety of A&M’s supremacy argument fades (and a lot of their fans would know about a certain kind of supremacy). Because the truth is, they’re record stands on squishing the softest of schools. Imagine bragging about beating Abilene Christian University. Even worse, imagine bragging about beating Sam Houston in its FCS era.
It’s just so enlightening to see an official tweet from A&M saying the quiet part out loud. The entire school is insufferable. And the response from Aggie fans was “well Texas told Big 12 schools they couldn’t play us.” And you know what even if that is true I have an incredibly easy solution: don’t press send on that tweet then.
Little Brother Syndrome
I know this blog averages 5-10 viewers a day, but if an A&M person stumbles across this blog let me clear a few things up, because I imagine that person may look into my history. Every time someone criticizes A&M, they always clap back with “you just hate us because you couldn’t get in.” Which is such a dumb argument because it’s not that difficult to get into A&M. If Texas made the argument, I could see that; that’s a school that actually has admissions standards. But A&M? Let’s be serious for a second at least.
That’s all to say I applied to A&M for that very reason. So that, for the rest of time, I could hold as an ultimate trap card that I got in and made the active choice not to go. (I looked up if I could find my admissions email, but we’re coming up on that being 10 years ago, so that sucker is gone).
A&M has this constant need for external approval. Usually that external approval comes from Aggies that agree wholly with them, because they know asking the question to any other fan would lead to a second of verbal scarring. And the annoying part of this whole thing is, A&M has been given a leg up in everything. They literally have a constitutional requirement to receive money from the state. They have an army of oil barons at their disposal so that firing Jimbo Fischer is just contingent on OPEC.
Yet, A&M seems to have this unquenchable need to be told how great it is. I contend it’s because the entire university knows that UT has always been and will always be head and shoulders better than them (and this is coming from a UH grad). What other university includes their rivals in their fight song? They are the personification of “I’m not touching you”. The entire band is a glorified Civil War hymn. I’ve seen that halftime performance live. Like cool you guys can walk in lines, but let’s not pretend this is some superstar of showmanship when this isn’t even the best A&M band in the state.
Also they bought a law school and are passing it off as this amazing thing. Really doesn’t fit this section but it’s so annoying to pretend that A&M isn’t just buying a shit ton of library books to move up in the rankings.
Texas Lame&M
I have a friend from Illinois. Obviously, he didn’t grow up around Aggies. As much as Aggies want to believe they’re nationwide, they’re just not. But he tells a story of coming to Texas and hearing from all the natives how absolutely insufferable Aggies were. There wasn’t that kind of fan base where he came from, so he couldn’t imagine an entire fan base just being like the iPad kid. As the story goes, when he met Aggies he immediately got it.
Every time a video of a yell leader pops up on my feed, I genuinely squirm in my seat from the second hand embarrassment. There is nothing worse than seeing grown men in overalls doing the equivalent to the Pete Buttigieg High Hopes dance while making the lamest jokes possible. And then every Aggie feels a need to defend them (“they’re actually supposed to be bad jokes” – actual quote from an Aggie)
Also some of the traditions are incredibly lame. Instead of saying “Oh yeah I graduated from A&M” they have to say “I’m part of the Fightin’ Texas Aggie class of ‘18.” Anyone outside of an Aggie has the exact same reaction as a dog being introduced to broccoli.
And sure, this is all stemming from a Tweet about beating Texas football teams. But the implication was “we’re the best football team in Texas.” Which hasn’t been true in years. I get why they jumped to the SEC, but can we at least have the discussion that outside of Johnny Manziel A&M has been a disappointment. They have done nothing noteworthy.
It’s embarrassing watching an entire university do mental gymnastics and post shady stats. You know Texas Tech technically has a similar record?
You know who’s not posting these stats on the official football account? Texas Tech. Because at least a school famous for an STD’s nickname has the cognitive awareness not to post a dumbass tweet. A&M just loves deepthroating itself.
Maybe one day we’ll see the Aggies have a little bit of self awareness, but until then they can choke on their bland Fuego tacos and unseasoned Lane’s chicken.
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