I’m constantly fascinated by the Jake Paul experience. There was a point in my life I knew a dangerous amount of the lyrics to “It’s Everyday Bro.” My way less terminally online friends always look at me like I’m destructively stupid when I refer to England as “my city.” Jake Paul is the perfect example of what happens when a person just never fails, no matter how insane or dumb or unattainable the idea is. And for that, I kind of oddly respect him. He’s an incredibly interesting case study on the new internet. Take controversies his brother gets in (numerous lawsuits) compared to him (talking way too much). He’s a piece of shit, but he’s at least an interesting piece of shit.
And so, in that vein of context, that is why I’m even writing this blog. Not because I have any kind of fascination with Olympic boxing. Or that I even care about boxing in general; I find MMA to be more fun to watch than boxing. But there is one thing that for sure would make me watch:
Now, of course, I’m sure that Jake Paul is saying this as he is aware he still has to qualify for the Olympics. His family is not known for making impromptu poor decisions on camera and then posting it to the world. So, obviously, he thought through this. Which, I’ve written about how America is not destroying the gold medal count in the Olympics like it is the overall medal count, but I have no clue if we’ve historically been killing it at boxing. USA got a singular bronze this past Olympics. Mohammed Ali fought in the Olympics and won a gold, but that’s like putting prime Khabib up against a bear again. But, unlike in the past, Jake can actually compete as a professional. I’m still not wholly clear if he’s an amateur or professional, because he’s still unranked by the WBC.
The reason I want to see Jake Paul at the Olympics is not because I think we can return to some glory. I want to see Jake Paul box because I want to see him actually compete against boxers who are not really there just for a payday. See, Jake Paul’s entire boxing career is built on the backs of men who are in the twilight of their careers or not boxers. He’s even fighting Mike Tyson who is closer to the twilight of his life than the twilight of his career. The entire timeline of Jake Paul’s boxing career is similar to the final fight in Gladiator, where Commodus stabs Maximus before going out to fight. One of his opponents, Ben Askren, is literally best known for getting knocked out.
For those of you nowhere near as online as I am, there has been vigorous debate on how good Jake Paul actually is at boxing. You’d figure a guy who’s had multiple headline fights wouldn’t be as controversial. But when your opponents are 40 year olds, it’s kind of easy to look like a boxing savant when the other guy’s biggest opponent is his own back. Everyone knew he wasn’t up to snuff; there was no way he was ever going to become an actual boxer. But he has okay enough fundamentals that maybe he can be a first-fight on the card merchant. Of course, the Tommy Fury fight exposed that. Fury is the younger brother of an actual fighter, and got famous on reality television, not boxing.
I want to see Jake Paul in the Olympics because I want to see how good he is against actual competition. The best he’s come up against is Tommy Fury, and that was a split decision loss. Also, I know he and his brother (if not imprisoned) will pull. some amazing stunts at the games. Both the Paul brothers would work vigorously to become a part of the Opening Ceremony; George Washington flagbearer LeBron to Jake Paul. I just really want to see him fight actual competition.
Do I think Jake Paul would do very well in the Olympics? I’m not sure if very well, but he’d probably impress. But I think that has more to do with his near constant steroid cycles and top-tier training. Nonetheless, America, I say do it. Let Jake Paul represent us. Then he’d other get a gold or embarrass himself, Dillon Dannis style.
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