With all the news and debate surrounding Tik Tok and the influence it has, I thought it was time for Moon Stamp to weigh into this debate. I’ll be the first to put my hands up and admit I am a huge fan of Chinese spyware. Sure, authoritarian regime and all, but when comparing Chinese and American spyware, the Chinese spyware clears. You can either look at your grandmother comment “Amen!” under a clearly AI post and then share it to her Facebook wall tagging 30 other old people who shouldn’t be driving or shopping for themselves. Or you could watch video after video of Peppa Pig emulating 20th century dictators.
But, even with my love of Chinese spyware, a realization has dawned on me that has made me yearn for the 6 seconds of heaven I experienced in my youth. See, for the past few weeks there has been a push on Tik Tok to degrade the 90s. Now, I’ll be honest, I was in love with trend. After listening to all the oldheads degrading the fact anyone would consider shooting threes, coupled with a longing for Malice in the Palace, it was nice for the modern era to win one. I’m not a lover of the modern era (I will do to Daryl Morey what happened to Peppa Pig Mussolini), but the reverence for the 90s feels a little silly after watching some games.
And, if you, like me, have been inundated with the new “we done with the 90s” takes. Which, I’ll be honest, I’m for. The 90s were known for hard hitting defense and physical play. After watching a game, if Draymond played during that, he’d be in front of the Hague for his crimes against humanity. But, even with my own, youthful bias, I’m not alone. (Note: I’m posting tweets because those will probably last longer than the Tik Toks.)
I’m even guilty of bringing it up in one of these blogs.
I have one very strong memory on Tik Tok from the last year when they were having hearings. There was video after video of how dumb Congress’ questions were. And how great the Tik Tok representative was. Don’t get me wrong, the questions were stupid, and the rep did a great job. But there was this weird dystopian feeling of the app pushing content for the app.
This memory got me thinking, why is the algorithm pushing this content? There must be some reason that Tik Tok really wants me to know the 90s are a fraudulent era of basketball. And that’s when it hit me.
That’s right, China is pushing their own GOAT agenda. China is indoctrinating Americans, through Tik Tok, to believe that LeBron is the GOAT. How does this affect LeBron’s legacy? It cements it for generations.
China can’t have ESPN continually squabbling over who’s better Michael or LeBron. They can’t have red blooded American who doesn’t promote China, only it’s sweatshops. I can’t imagine Jordan’s social credit score comes even close to that of LeBron, glorious player he is. So, through the power of Tik Tok, we are being conditioned to believe that the 90s were a soft era (it was) so that the GOAT debate ends with LeBron. No more room for the boy from North Carolina, because he has not submitted to the power of Xi Jinping, future ruler of the world.
There isn’t really doubt in my mind that the Tik Tok algorithm is pushing this, not because it is popular, but because it is necessary. The Chinese 5-year-plan includes invading Taiwan, buying Disney, and making LeBron the GOAT.
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