A pivotal part of any team’s championship win is the trophy ceremony. After the game, an esteemed commentator comes out and sets the scene for the rest of the world to bask in the glory of the winners. The winners are in a state of both disbelief and relief. Everyone from the coaching staff to the trainers, to the players, and to their families has worked an entire season for this moment. Long nights spent preparing for the moment. And then, when they finally achieve the ultimate goal, the first people congratulated are the organizational sugar daddies. The trophy is for the owners.
I think I understand the reasoning behind it. Without the owners, the organization would not be winning a championship in that moment. But that’s the equivalent of a Double Daves getting presented the Dad’s League 3rd place trophy because they bought the uniforms. Like sure, the reason Brayden and co. are able to play coach pitch is because of a franchisee wanting to hang a plaque on the wall. But the people who actually got that trophy were the players and coaches (who aren’t getting paid).
That logic follows through with owners as well. The reason I am forever against the Cowboys winning the Super Bowl is because I don’t want Jerry Jones up there fondling the Lombardi Trophy like it’s a 20-year-old in Highland Park hoping for some sweet sugar daddy money. This carries through his death (he will live forever through spite) because I can’t have his memory feeling vindicated after almost 30 years of failure. One of the main reasons the Cowboys have been an incompetent franchise is because of Jerry Jones. And if they win, he is vindicated by a Roger Goodell trophy handoff.
Did Wyc Grousbeck sign Jrue Holiday? Admittedly he has an incredibly cool name. But not to paraphrase Obama, he didn’t make that happen. An owner should be like the Silent Generation’s idea of a child – seen, not heard. The owner should be silently in the background, thankful that his investments paid off and he put the right people in charge and let everyone who actually put in work have their moment. Also, after looking up Wyc, I kind of hate him. He’s a venture capitalist who has a celebrity tequila brand. Celebrities, your tequila sucks. Stick to hedonism and adrenochrome and leave the alcohol-making to actual alcoholics.
I think Jayson Tatum is a psychopath who would wear Kobe’s skin if he got the chance. But I’d even prefer him up there as the first guy to touch the Larry O’Brien trophy. Joe Mazzula is an actual psychopath who probably believes the trophy is akin to a golden calf, but he should have touched it before an owner. Hell, even let Al Horford get up there and have his moment. Or, if ABC wanted to help parents scare their children for some stupid Jimmy Kimmel bit, put Jordan Walsh up there.
The whole process is corny and feels of vague secondhand embarrassment. I get secondhand embarrassment when Jimothy Smithers III gives a “rousing” speech, trophy in hand. Let’s end this tradition and give it to the actual winners – the players and coaches. Not some guy with money who, usually, just gets in the way. Like Luka on defense.
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