The horrors my eyes have seen know no bounds. Give it up for Pep and Arteta for somehow making an interesting game into a complete hole of nothingness. For seasons now, ranging back to the last decade, the Manchester City I have come to hate had the pride to look at a top-level opponent and pistol whip them with the unstoppable rage only known to a man backed by a bloodthirsty country. The Arsenal I know sits at the top of the table for most of the season, only to become bottle job it. Yet when I turned on the television, I was met with the glaring tactics of a defeatist mentality.
I came into the game hoping that an asteroid would strike the Etihad or the FA Cup would allow for a double loss; like Klopp, below. I’ve written about my deeply rooted dislike of Manchester City. I haven’t mentioned Arsenal, but they have taken up the mantle Spurs left empty as chief bottlers of the league. Something about North London, apparently.
Especially with the lineup cards that both teams presented to us. When looking at the lineups for either team, you’d think that both teams were set up by 10 year olds who just learned defensive tactics in their fun and fair league. I’ve seen my fair bit of lineup cards and it’s not crazy to see a weaker team set up for a draw. The Mourinho teams came out with lineup sheets clearly intending to park the bus, and hit the gaps and counterattack. Never have I seen two top table teams present lineup cards so focused on making sure that the other team is not allowed in its half.
This is disgusting. What happened to the game I love? Frankly, Pep and Arteta should be ashamed with the way they have set up their teams. Eight centerbacks and two defensive midfielders between the teams. An absolutely ghastly appearance of team management. And it is everything that I hate about the approach of the modern soccer that Pep has pioneered and poisoned Arteta with. I know he’s hurt at the moment, but at least someone like John Stones would have pushed forward. These teams are meant to play pass to the side offense.
Do you know what the xG was at the end of this game? According to the xG Philosophy, Manchester City had an xG of 0.85 and Arsenal had an xG of 0.73. Crazily enough, Haaland was really not a part of that xG. I want so badly to believe in this Norwegian cyborg. Sure, I’ll choose Darwin Nuñez any day of the week. But, he is like what Andrew Huberman believes a human can become with enough red light exposure. But, when he meets a team not made up of players who have 0 national team appearances, he disappears. Roy Keane called him a League 2 player. And with only 4 shots, I’m fully inclined to agree.
And don’t even Gabriel Jesus was just abysmal (I felt the need to distinguish because of Easter). He started the game essentially playing as a left back. Remember, Arsenal did not have a left back in the lineup. And then he proceeded to just pretend to shoot for the entire game. Or, he tried to get way to fancy with his footwork, with this mentality he was prime Manchester United Ronaldo. Someone needed to go for his knees. Maybe that would have warranted a yellow card. Because this game was desperatley seeking a yellow.
I knowI’m focusing a lot on the offensive players, but that’s because the defensive players did their jobs. The modern Pep and Arteta approach to tactics. They want to control opponents in their own half, and then use drop coverage as safekey if their light press is broken. The whole point is to tiptoe around the opponent’s build up. And it reminds me so much of Purdue basketball (not to cross sports). It’s ugly, it’s offensive, and it’s just hard to watch. And like I feel with Purdue, neither of these teams deserves to be a champion. Call me a Klopp glazer, but at least he works to find and exploit gaps and push the ball upfield. The lack of conservatism in his approach makes Liverpool incredibly enjoyable to watch. Even Manchester City fans agree.
I also hate how every Arsenal fan is claiming this drastically boring draw as some kind of victory. If you want to win a title, at least push for it. They are even trying to twist what parking the bus is. These same people wanted to kill Mourinho, especially during the Spurs era, for his non-leak strats. Now, they are reclaiming and recycling the term.
So, to end with the gist of the blog, the game was awful. The approach of the two coaches is awful. Arsenal fans need to quiet down. And neither Arsenal or Manchester City deserves to win a trophy, especially the league, if that’s how they play big games. Also, it’s time to reevaluate Haaland. If you’re interested in how to play one of these games, read this blog on Jurgen Klopp and the power of friendship.
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